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FOR THOSE WHO MISSED IT
The St Kilda Festival is on this weekend , oh perhaps I should rephrase
that , this weekend there’s a festival occuring in St Kilda.If
it were a St Kilda Festival it would grow out of the daily cultural
life of the suburb , rather than a festival superimposed upon it.
Last year we had truckloads of dirt shipped in so that trial bikes
could roar up & down , something that never happens the other
364 days of the year . And at the risk of seeming parochial , the
headline band this year is not even from St Kilda , not even from
Melbourne , but Brisbane for God’ sake !
As if it’s not bad enough that anytime there’s more
than half an hour of sunshine on the weekend that we’ve got
to put up with hordes of you looking like you all buy your clothes
at the same shop & your mewing litters of overfed children &
overbred dogs clogging up the suburb . Not to mention your 12 year
old bare midriffed daughters dressed like 80s Kings Cross hookers.
You’re like giant distended colons on legs , wandering , wandering
looking for something more to eat , to drink , to eat , to drink
, anything to stuff more in .And you rubber neck & gaze at any
trivial thing that your limited attention span seizes upon , as
if it were significant ! Anything so that you can avoid confronting
the giant abyss of emptiness inside you .
We don’t like you , that’s why we moved out of the suburbs
! I’ll make you a deal , you stay in whatever cultural ghetto
or shoppingtown nightmare that you call home & we won’t
come out there & sneer at you .To paraphrase The League Of Gentlemen
“ A LOCAL festival for LOCAL people”
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